Goodbye 2019, Hello 2020?

Hi there! Not sure if there’s anybody out there anymore since it’s been such a long time since the last time I wrote anything here. I’m starting to repeat myself but, I’m back! I started writing this post earlier this year (it was supposed to be a New Years post) but never had the chance to finish it, there was always something more important to do. But we are living strange times at the moment and just started our third week in lockdown here in Paris, so perhaps there’s more time for the blog too.

I’m going to start by deleting everything I wrote before because let’s just say, this year has not turned out the way I imagined it to be! I do not want to go back to 2019 either since last year was quite difficult for me, there were a lot of issues I was dealing with my health for pretty much the whole year so was really looking forward to getting that behind me and starting fresh this year. We are only a few months into this year, can’t lose hope for the whole year yet but pretty sure no-one will be calling 2020 their year. So in this New Years post of mine, I won’t be wishing you happy new year, will do that in 9 months time, fingers crossed I’m betting for 2021 to be the year for all of us.

As a disclaimer I want to say here that I do take this situation where we are all currently living extremely seriously. I’m scared for a lot of things, for the virus and for the economy. I feel so sad for all the people who are either touched by the virus or working against it. For all the weddings and funerals that can’t take place right now and all the mothers having to give birth alone. I fear for my own family as we are all living in different countries. If something would happen, I won’t be able to be there. I’m scared for us, if something would happen, who would take care of our little boy. And I also fear of getting sick some other way or some other accident happening now that the hospitals are crowded. I feel so bad for all the wonderful small businesses that had to close their doors and put everything on pause. I fear for what the world will be like once the lockdown will be over.

Reading news makes me so sad every day, at the same time I don’t want to read them but can’t help myself checking them all the time. I try to find positive articles to read but the news just keep getting on whole new levels of horrible daily and it just takes so long to find the positive things from under all that sadness. Lately I’ve gotten the same feeling I got last summer while waiting for my results for weeks and was not going to know what the future would be like, like not wanting to get up in the morning and feeling sick at the same time, in the evenings not being able to sleep because of what just happened. This whole situation is just something that I have no words for and I just miss papers being full of all the boring political news.

But I want to remain positive and hopeful for the future, there is always a tomorrow, there always has been and there always will be, and we will get through this. We all read these news and we are all scared about these things, making you read about my fears will not bring anything to the table here so won’t be doing that here anymore. We are safe at home here and that is the best thing we can all do in this situation, stay safe at home and protect others. Do that for yourself, the ones you love and all the medical personnel who are still out there working and not getting to be at home with their families. Support those small businesses that you love the way that you can from home, so that they will still be there once we get out.

While we are waiting for all this to be over and things getting back to normal, I want to make most of this time we spend at home. Yes it is difficult juggling things at home but as stressful as this situation is, there is still a silver lining in being stuck at home too. For me it has been getting to spend more time with my family. My husband works quite long hours normally, never teleworking, is rarely home before 8pm and travels a lot for work. He would probably disagree here since he still tries to work the same hours from home with a hyperactive toddler stealing his computer while he is stuck on a call, but having him here all the time has been quite a change from our normal and would never happen otherwise. We have been busy trying to find activities for our three year old but haven’t been drawing and playing with him this much probably ever. I also find comfort in thinking how the climate will be benefiting from this situation and hearing birds singing in central Paris.

These pictures are not from my home by the way, although I have added a new life goal for us, a pandemic mansion with a pool, gym, yoga room, garden and everything one might need with hand sanitiser and mask making facilities but for the moment we are still living in our old apartment, which unfortunately also happened to be under construction work for the windows and facade that got paused for the lockdown. But we are good here. We have been cooking a lot and eating together much more than normally but our breakfast is still quite far from being as pretty as this one we got to enjoy in my favourite Parisian hotel where we spent our anniversary last year. But will do my best to make them as pretty as these by the time the lockdown ends.

While I’m perfecting my cooking skills, let me know if there is something you would like to read from here. I want to thank you for coming back here, I know it has been a while since the last time but I’ll do my best not to make a habit out of that hah. Hopefully I’m not back here in 6 months saying the same thing. I also want to send you all so much strength right now, we will get through this! I know this time is very hard for everyone, the situation affecting some more than others, but it’s not easy for anyone. So much uncertainty and difficult situations getting life running from home. All the best and stay safe!